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Permalink Reply by Austin from Earth! on September 16, 2008 at 9:02pm

It's very normal. I pray that you find the peace of mind you so desperatly want, need, and crave during this time. *hugs*

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Permalink Reply by Melissa Boswell on September 16, 2008 at 9:18pm

oh that is very normal. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just cry. It will get better I promise. you will learn to accept it and then you will start to get angry. you will go thru every emotion you have. I still get sad & mad sometimes (not very often) but try not to because it's not healthy. try to stay positive and just make up your mind that you are going to beat this shit. no exceptions. your attitude has a LOT to do with healing. I swear it does. Pray alot too. that helped me soooo much. Good luck Thursday. drop by my page if you need to talk, yell, scream, cuss, cry, or laugh.

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Permalink Reply by Eman on September 16, 2008 at 9:31pm

all your feelings are normal... you are in the right place with this amazing community....you can check in here anytime and usually find yourself enveloped in love and support....you are not alone and we have all been through many of the same things you are going through...it is a scary ride...especially in the beginning but breathe and lean on us when you can. One day at a time...one breath at a time...You are strong and you will get through this..I just finished chemo 4 weeks ago...so any time you want to check in or have questions simply write. sending light and love...eman

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Permalink Reply by Dana on September 16, 2008 at 9:34pm

Surround yourself with postive people. I got on my church's prayer list, along with a friend's church prayer list and even my hair stylist's prayer list. I am amazed at how many aunt's wrote, emailed, called, and sent cards to me. My mother was tripping over herself trying to find a way to help me, so she made me a beautiful skirt. Take a friend with you to chemo. Take a book. Ask lots of questions. Make sure the oncology nurses know that it's your first time. Take some control over your situation by learning as much as you can. When you know more about your cancer & your treatment, you will have less fear about the unkown.
And of course you are not alone. You are strong & you can get well again.

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Permalink Reply by Jen B on September 16, 2008 at 9:36pm

You are *totally* normal! It's a part of the journey for all of us. I finally figured out that if I wanted to get on with my life, well, I just had to choose to get on with my life. I figured if canSer is at the center of my every movement, then that was too much energy spent in the wrong direction. I think that concept hits us all when we're ready for it. Then we just move on with our lives.

Stay here with us and we'll enjoy your good days with you and be here on your bad days too. And you'll do the same for us and it is healing for all. This place is remarkeable. I couldn't have made it through my own breast canSer without youse guys.

In your honor, I'm going to go dig up an old thread that I found when I first came here. It's about the things that people say to you when they learn you have canSer. It really helped me to see that everybody here was going through exactly the same thing I was. It's full of funnies and frustrations both.

Love you and welcome aboard - Jen B.

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Permalink Reply by Jen B on September 16, 2008 at 9:40pm

I found the post. It's called, "CanSer Faux Pas."

http://my.crazysexylife.com/forum/topic/show?id=2001521%3ATopic%3A301

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Permalink Reply by Carole on September 16, 2008 at 9:51pm

Everyone is being so sweet. I am going to cry.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl on September 16, 2008 at 11:58pm

Hi Carole, hang in there!!!!! I too was diagnosed with breast cancer. It will be a year Sept 20th. I had a dbl mastectomy with lattisimus flap reconstruction, got MRSA, had to have my left skin expander removed, and then endured 4 treatments of chemo. I finished chemo in April. Started feeling pretty good in May, went out on my deck in the rain, took a flying leap, and ripped off the toenail on my left big toe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OUCH!!!!!!!!! There must be a problem with my left side!!!!! Ha, ha, ha!!!!!! I just wanted to say that things do start to look up, even if I only have 1 boob, no hair, and 9 toenails.What kept me going was my sense of humor. Try to find yours!!!!! It does help. I really do feel much better these days, and cancer isn't the most important thing in my life anymore. I am beginning the reconstruction process once again, after taking the summer off, and will be having surgery next month, to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Remember hang in there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Cheryl

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Permalink Reply by Reyna on September 17, 2008 at 12:08am

Hang in there... trust us all when we tell you this is completely "normal" ... to go through the series of emotions that come with this dis-ease. My husband has lung cancer, but I consider it as "we" have it. He's my soul mate, and best friend and whatever happens to him is happening to me too. Trust us all when we tell you too that the feelings of desperation, fear, anxiety & everything under the sun comes with the territory. As someone above said earlier, there will come a point where you'll reach acceptance... acceptance that it is what it is. You may not have control over getting this in the first place, but you the control in how you tackle each situation... and most importantly your treatment. Surround yourself with positive friends & family, and of course this website has been a lifesaver and a blessing. Lean on us, anytime anyday. I also recommend the book "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. I found this book about week 2 into my hubby's diagnosis, and it really gave me back some sanity & a feeling of control over what was going on. Hang in there girly... this too will pass. Grab a hold of your Faith, whatever it may be... and pray lots :)

Feel free to chat anytime k? We're all here for you.

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Permalink Reply by Deborah Butcher on September 17, 2008 at 12:37am

I was misdiagnosed in June with muscle spasms and it took till early August to find out it was lung cancer and until last week to find out it was Stage 4 and now I'm waiting for more tests before I can start a clinical trial early next week. I think feelings run the gamut of overwhelmed, anxiety, shock, fear,sadness, anger, depression and then the cycle repeats - not necessarily in that order. Xanax has helped tremendously with anxiety - otherwise I think I'd be under the covers rolled up in a fetal position...
Read the books, check out diet changes, share w/all of the wonderful people on line and be your own best advocate. Start a journal, keep copies of all your scans on cd/dvd's - get a copy of every radiologist report, every pathology report, take notes at every appointment. Be part of your treatment and that will help you regain some control and get on with your life. It might be a different life - but you can still make it the best you can be. My prayers are with you.

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Permalink Reply by Carole on September 17, 2008 at 9:53am

Have lorazapam to help with the anxiety and pills to help with the depression. Nothing seems to be working yesterday or today though.
At least there are people who are feeling what I am feeling. This is nice to know.

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Permalink Reply by Bren from Rivendell on September 17, 2008 at 10:05am

Hi Carole,
You are not going crazy love. You are on over-load. You will laugh, cry, go quiet and then bark at someone all within a few minutes time span. You may even want to retreat from people for a time. That's totally normal. But you're only allowed to do that for one day, promise us?
Anyway, welcome to the royal realm of healing and feel free to vent! You are on safe ground. We all are going through something or walking the journey with someone or studying the walk at some level. You are never alone. There are support group here that specialize with breast can-ser and dealing with chemo. Join up and join in! Get the proverbial feet wet! Feel free to come visit me in my elvish dwelling anytime. I'm up at all hours...much love, many hugs, lighting a candle and will be praying for you...blessed be, Bren

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