Starting to lose my hair - want to talk about it.

So, I started feeling that sensation you get if you have your hair up in a ponytail all day and when you let your hair down, your "hair hurts" - really it is your scalp that hurts. But, my hair wasn't in a ponytail today. And then a few hours later when I ran my fingers thru my hair - lots came out. OK - so this is not really a surprise, but I was kinda hoping that it wasn't going to happen to me -- that somehow, I was going to be the only one on Taxol and Cisplatin who didn't lose her hair. Silly me! I Just wanted to see if anyone else would talk to me about this process. I will have my head shaved in the next day or so...
Hugs,
Bonphire

This is the next day...SO I have been thinking about how what I can do with my do...and I thought I could video tape it and act like I am really going crazy and tearing my hair out. How is THAT for a special effect...

-or - I can have a ritual for my head...Monday is Jewish New Year. It is called Rosh Hashana. Rosh means head. The phrase means Head of the Year. For me - this is "YEAR OF THE HEAD"...If my hair will cooperate, I want to have my head shaved on that day. Revealing the Head. See my head day...

Someone just said to me they look forward to seeing my new "do" and I said, you mean my "undo".

Hugs to all of you - every single one...
Bonphire

PS - Well today is September 29 and I did it - I had my head shaved. I am wearing my wig and I am now officially bald. My hair got so matted and knotty the last few days because I would not comb it or brush it as it was falling out furiously and I wanted to keep it till the last minute so I could do it on Rosh Hashana (Head of the Year - Jewish New Year). It got REALLY itchy - but now it is gone and I feel better. Thanks to all of you who wrote to me about this concern. I am mostly lined up with it, in part because I know it will grow back and in part because I have to be -- the alternative is to be bent out of shape about it and I prefer to embrace it and accept it, as my being upset is not going to change a darn thing. Not that I won't cry about it now and then, but it is over and done with. It is time for me to keep on keeping on...
Be well and lots of hugs!

Tags: hair

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Austin from Earth! on September 24, 2008 at 11:18pm: Bonphire, you are strong and you are beautiful. Just know your hair is only a part of you... and you will still be the same strong and beautiful woman with or without it. *hugs*; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bonphire on September 24, 2008 at 11:22pm: Thanks Austin...I really appreciate that...a lot. Such a strange thing to shed...gonna have my head shaved in a day or so...maybe this is my chance to wear saffron colored robes for a while :-)

Hugs,
Bonphire; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Vivian on September 24, 2008 at 11:26pm: Goodness with a gorgeous smile like that--- who needs hair!! Don't worry you will probably still look amazing! Think of all the beautiful hats and accessories you can get. I know its hard, but you'll get thru it. xo Vivian; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bren from Rivendell on September 24, 2008 at 11:32pm: Hey Bonphire, or should I call you "Hot Stuff"? -- I've been shaved 5 times now and my hubby loved the Demi Moore look...I liked the no hassle thing..it actually was kinda sexy...if someone asks, tell them you're going into battle and just walk away, that usually shuts them up and they won't pursue you...worked for me.(I don't usually like war references, but I especially don't like discussing my dis-ease w/strangers unless the circumstances are right)

..In the meantime, think retail therapy baby...hats, scarves, mmmm...Bren; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bonphire on September 24, 2008 at 11:33pm: You are a doll. Thanks for cheering me up!
Hugs,
Bonphire; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bren from Rivendell on September 25, 2008 at 12:19am: remember the line from the movie w/ Demi...if they p*ss you off or hurt you..."kiss my stick!"...WOMAN POWER SQUARED! Rock on ancient queen, blaze that path, Ms. Bonphire...god, you are going to be a character in one of my books!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sweetlife on September 25, 2008 at 7:24am: Going into battle..................I LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bonphire on September 24, 2008 at 11:35pm: Thank you Vivian - I feel better getting that message from you!!! I appreciate it so much!
Hugs,
Bonphire; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lanae on September 24, 2008 at 11:30pm: You have got an incredible smile and your spirit and beauty just shine! Stay strong sweet girl!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bonphire on September 24, 2008 at 11:36pm: Thank you Lanae!!! :-D; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sherry on September 24, 2008 at 11:34pm: Bonphire - I remember how hard it was when my hair starting falling out. I know I know, I heard it all....its just hair and we are so much more than that....but for many women, we identify with our locks - long, short, wavy, straight - we always want what we don't have....and when you lose your hair, you just want it back, period. I was not a confident bald is beautiful chica, although I commend the women I have seen who rock it so well! i wore wigs and scarves - if you need any recommendations, let me know and I'll be more than happy to pass along any info I have. Hang in there - you are beautiful - let your inner beauty shine for awhile too!
xoxo Sherry; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bonphire on September 24, 2008 at 11:38pm: You brought tears to my eyes - you understand...Thank you for your words...thank you so much...where are you with your hair now?? Still without? Growing back?
hugs,
Bonphire; ▶ Reply to This

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