An Untimely Passing Of My 46 Year Young Friend Andrea!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure who should get the prayer here and/or if it is even appropriate as my friend Andrea was not a member of this Website...

Today was my First Official/non-official day of my new job as Peer Specialist, it was a Grueling 8 hrs.

As I was coming home my 16 year old son called me and said "Mom, did Ilana tell you?? (Ilana is my 20 year old daughter) There was Dead Silence... I said "No, What"? he said "Promise You Won't Scream"? I said "Ok, what's up"? He then dropped the bomb "Mom, Andrea Died"........... Andrea is one of my son's best friends Mother whom i had gotten very close with over the past couple of years.... He told me she died of a Heart Attack....

So I got home dropped off my things and made a b-line back out the door and proceeded to drive to Andrea's home, which btw her & her husband have been going through a divorce which I just found out she moved out of the Marital Home and left her soon to be ex with their 16 year old son & their 21 year old daughter who @ the present time is in college and will be graduating this May.... Sadly, my heart does not go out so much to her daughter as I see & know she is supported by her dad & surrounded by her friends... I know T is also, but I hate to say it, as a Male and a 16 year old male, he is Not so free with his emotions and actually he SHOWS NO EMOTION.,..

IT'S JUST NOT FAIR,,,,,, This is ALL I KEPT (AND CONTINUE TO) SAYING ALL NIGHT................ And Ontop of it here, her 16 year old son who "Never Shows Any Emotion" is stoic, and yet my heart Cries Out for him and to him... My son even said to his sister... "Ilana, T scares me, I don't understand it, he is emotionless, we went out for icecream for about an hour and it was him & one other good friend and all he did was crack jokes".... "Ilana, I am afraid for him"..... Try explaining that one to your 16 year old... I told my son that T is probably in Shock, Denial & it is a defense mechanism... Hunter said (but Mom, T never shows emotion) "That's What's F***ed Up"......

As I was leaving the Shiva house My Friend Andrea's Mother came up to me, (we had never met until this horrible evening) and says "Please, Please Watch out for T for me"...............

GOD HELP HIM, Stand by him and give him strength, courage, to not vear in the wrong direction, to not make wrong decisions and choices, to please somehow allow him/help him to show his emotions in some way, to @ least some (one) person and Please, PLEASE MAY MY DEAR FRIEND ANDREA, REST IN PEACE....................................

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Carole on October 16, 2008 at 1:26am: My prayers are with you and your friends family. Especially her son who is unable to show his emotions.

It is not fair to lose a loved one and one so young. Be strong and know we are here for you through this trama.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sandra on October 16, 2008 at 1:37am: Leslie, My heart goes out to you and all concerned. I pray for gentle loving guidance for all concerned as you stand by T.
Love and hugs
Sandra; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Laurie on October 16, 2008 at 2:46am: Dear Leslie,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and the loss this family is going through.
My prayers are with you during this time, if I can help you in any way please
let me know. I know I am far away, but I am always here with a shoulder, and a hug.
When a loss is so sudden, it is very hard, and I pray for T to find his heart, and be
able to deal with his future.
Love and hugs,
Laurie; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bren from Rivendell on October 16, 2008 at 2:59am: Leslie, so sorry to hear your news. The prayers of Rivendell are with you and your friends family. This is a tragedy. I will pray the children get through this time especially. xo, B; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Austin from Earth! on October 16, 2008 at 6:21am: I'm sorry to hear this Leslie! I will be praying for the entire family in this time. Death is never easy, expected or not. As for T, he's dealing with it in his own way.

As for you young lady, woohoo on starting the new job! :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Caroline on October 16, 2008 at 7:03am: I am so sorry to hear your news. An unexpected death is twice as hard, especially in one so young. My thoughts are with you and her family.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Vivian on October 16, 2008 at 8:17am: Leslie,
I am thinking of you, Andrea and both families. My prayers are with you all. Vivian; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Audrey on October 16, 2008 at 8:48am: Leslie,

This is sad indeed for everyone involved. I'm sure T has had it tough, first with whatever it was that brought his parents to the decision to divorce, then the separation/filing for divorce, and now the sudden and unexpected loss of his mother. I pray that God looks over the family and gives them strength and hope so much that the family recognizes the needs of the young boy.

Please take care,
Audrey; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Callie on October 16, 2008 at 9:23am: They are in my thoughts and prayers.. Bless you for losing your friend.. and my prayers are with you too. Much love and May the peace of the everlasting lord be with you all always and forever.With deepest Sympathy. Callie; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Glamma karen on October 19, 2008 at 12:21pm: Wow, I just went throught this last week.My kids are in there 20s and we were all very close to this family.I struggled with how to help my kids deal with this death.I just kept telling them.None of us know Gods Plan.
You are all in my prayers
karen; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Leslie on October 20, 2008 at 10:13pm: Thank You ALL SO VERY MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR KIND, LOVING WORDS AND PRAYERS.... I feel so helpless @ this time... There is soo much I want to do, say and yet I find myself powerless... I keep asking my son if T is back in school yet & if anybody has said or mentioned anything @ which he replies, "No" to all of the above... I do not want to push or prey or get in the way of what they all are going through or what they might be doing @ this time... It is making it that much tougher since they were going through their divorce and I am not really sure if things were bitter @ this point or not... I would like to HOPE & PRAY that even if it were, that the Dad, can put all of his feelings aside for now and be their lovingly, unconditionaly for the children... I actually sent a condolense card to the house the other day and I was struggling on what the card should read.... I settled on it saying something to the affect of "So sorry for the loss of your mother"........ and then inside I did address it to the husband, and the two children.... I wrote my sentiments and then just wrote if they ever need or want anything to call & I again gave my phone # as I am not even sure (he) has it.... I was thinking in about a month or so, when some settles down that I would ask my son to invite T out to dinner with us, but I was not sure if this would be appropriate or not.... I am second guessing EVERYTHING & ANYTHING I am thinking and feeling and wanting to do or not to do....... Again this is where I feel like my Hands are tied and I feel helpless..

Thank you alll again for all of your love, & support..

xoxoxo Leslie; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michelle on October 23, 2008 at 10:45pm: I am so sorry for your loss.
Thinking of you,
Michelle; ▶ Reply to This

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