Feeling Sorry for Myself - Start chemo again tomorrow

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Permalink Reply by Lanae on October 16, 2008 at 3:10pm

Pam -
I'm not in your shoes but I can send you a giant cyber hug and put you in my prayers. I wish I had some words of wisdom but I don't. I do have love, support and caring to send you and want you to know I'm wishing you well!

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Permalink Reply by Pam on October 16, 2008 at 3:29pm

Thank you, Lanae. I sincerely appreciate the support.

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Permalink Reply by Heather on October 16, 2008 at 3:23pm

I am so sorry that you are going to have to go through that again. Best of luck and big healthy, loving vibes are being sent your way now...
love & light
Heather

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Permalink Reply by Pam on October 16, 2008 at 3:29pm

Thanks, Heather. Means a lot to have support.

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Permalink Reply by Jenny M on October 16, 2008 at 3:54pm

Pam,

The only thing I can say is to hang in there, you know whats coming, but you are also more educated this time around in what you can do to alleviate some of the chemo side affects.

Just out of curiousity, did you scan in remnission in January, and stop chemo, or did you continue with chemo after scanning in remission?

The reason I ask, is I have a breast to bone mets, and scanned cancer free January 30th, and continued with chemo every week for three weeks, and one week off until July. Kind of a kick the cells while they're are down??

Did your oncologist do that?
My last scan was August 27th, and I am still in remission, and my tumor cell count is way down.

I completely understand your discouragement, living with a mets seems like you will always be looking over your shoulder, but have faith, and don't let it get you down. If you allow it to rain on your positive parade, it can more easily grab hold of you.

And if you didn't get 6 more months of chemo after scanning cancer free the 1st time, I strongly recommend looking into that this time around, and you WILL scan cancer free again :)

Hugs,

Jenny M

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Permalink Reply by Pam on October 16, 2008 at 4:10pm

Jenny, thank you so much for responding and telling me your story.

To answer your questions, yes my onc. took me off chemo after a cancer-free scan back in January. That is very interesting your doctor administered chemo even after you tested cancer-free. And a very wise decision since you are now cancer free since August with your tumor markers so low.

No, I didn't get six months of chemo the first time. It was for 4 mos. every other week. This time I will be getting it for 6 mos. every week. I will be given Abraxane and Avastin. Abraxane every week and every other week Avastin will be added to the mix.

Thank you so much, Jenny for sharing your experiences. It makes me feel better to hear from someone else who has mets cancer. (I know that sounds bad, but you know what I mean).

Hugs back to you.
Pam

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Permalink Reply by Jenny M on October 16, 2008 at 4:34pm

Pam,

I absolutely know what you mean, and the avastin is a wonderful chemo. Pretty new I bleieve, but I had that also twice a month.

However, I had 12 months of chemo, one week was taxol, avastin, and zometa, week two was just taxol, week three was just avastin and taxol... then the fourth week off.

Once bit of advice on the avastin... Don't cut yourself. Avastin slows the healing or prevents it. I had a gaping hole in my chest from a port gone bad....... long story, emergency extraction, but the incision site kept reopening and took forever to heal due to the avastin :)

I would ask your oncologist about continuing treatment after you scan in remission. Unfortunately with a mets you have to assume the tumors are still there. Always keep in mind that a scan only picks up active cancer, so if the chemo just knocked it down, you may need a few more doses to make sure its eliminated.

Good luck

Jenny M

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Permalink Reply by Pam on October 20, 2008 at 10:05am

Jenny, thank you for responding. I appreciate you telling me your experiences. This helps me tremendously.

Thank you again.
Warm regards,
Pam

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Permalink Reply by Jenny M on October 25, 2008 at 10:06am

Pam,

Just checking in. How are you doing? How is Chemo this time around. I've been thinking of you.

Hugs and prayers,

Jenny M

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Permalink Reply by Carole on October 16, 2008 at 4:20pm

BIG HUGS coming your way.

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Permalink Reply by Bren from Rivendell on October 16, 2008 at 4:25pm

Pam, I too am facing the prospect of re-currance of the can-ser in my heart. I also have early stage II multiple myeloma, dx'd in Sept. I face an uncertain future and the unknown can loom so dark. I made a posting of a video on the main blog yesterday of a video my husband made. It is a tribute to the love shared between me and those that are mine ~ my husband, my children, my grandson ~ and yes, one of my docs and the staff that have joined me in the healing house of Rivendell. I added the concept of turning the page and the proverbial wolf at the door. But love conquers all.

I don't have words to express how I feel. Sometimes words are inadequate. We are walking in the same path, though with different types of dis-ease. I am here for you as much or as little as you need. Rivendell is always here, a candle always burns to remind me of my fellow travelers, never far from my heart or mind and that there are those worse off than me. Some who have not found a voice or simply feel unable to verbalize it. I will be storming the throne for you and your loved ones. You are not alone, dear one, we are all here for you ~ Blessed be, Bren

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Permalink Reply by Sharon632 on October 16, 2008 at 6:09pm

I relapsed fairly quickly (5 months) and had to start chemo again and this time an ickier chemo was added. I had five months as opposed to the first time when I had 6. I have been in remission now for 10 months and holding my breath.

I am sorry you have to to through chemo again but I am praying that it works. Hang in there Sweetie. You'll be okay.
Love,
Sharon

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