Internet Dating

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Permalink Reply by Red on October 19, 2008 at 4:11pm

Alright, I'll be the first to admit that I have done it! Actually, that is how I met my current beau (3 yrs and still chugging along). I had fun with the internet dating - I talked to as many people as I wanted - being very careful about letting too much personal info out - but still I was able to be completely honest about who I am and if they didnt like it, oh well.

I am friends with quite a few people who have met their partners online. Be careful, but have fun! You need to be the one to look out for yourself, but you will meet tons of great and interesting folks!

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Permalink Reply by Sharon632 on October 19, 2008 at 4:27pm

I signed up today to eharmony. This is my first experience and I haven't talked to anyone yet. I'll be careful. I wonder, when do you let the cat out of the bag that you've had cancer? I have been in remission for 10 months but still have a mediport in because I am doing the maintenance drug Rituxin.

I am glad you had a good experience with it Red. Have fun with the beau.

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Permalink Reply by Caroline on October 19, 2008 at 4:34pm

I have friends who met and married through Match.com. I met my husband through an offline dating service. I have another friend who dates a lot who she meets online.

If you do use one, be careful to protect yourself. Make sure you email back and forth a lot and are comfortable before even giving your full real name. When you first go to meet, use all your common sense - public place, friend to call, etc.

Also, when I first met my husband and got his real name I googled him just to be sure he was who he said he was.

Goodl uck and have fun!

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Permalink Reply by Red on October 20, 2008 at 2:00pm

I went so far as to have a girlfriend go to the same restaurant as me and my date.

I used eHarmony for a few months, then switched to match.com. I found that I liked being in control of who I talked to and when. eHarmony made you answer all of the questions - I guess I just didnt have the patience!! :)

Good luck!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Carole on October 19, 2008 at 5:35pm

Yes I tried internet dating and the first guy I met was not great but I am trying again. I think it is worth giving it a try.

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Permalink Reply by Sandra on October 19, 2008 at 7:37pm

I admit I did the internet dating thing with - well - interesting results. I learned a great deal about myself, and about others through the experience. I dated on fellow for 4 months, was lied to by quite a few men, and then was in a two year relationship with a man I nearly married but as luck goes, his anger issues came "raging" to the surface several weeks before the wedding and I got out in a big hurry. All this from Lavalife. I would not go back to it myself but that is just me.

I recommend taking your time - some of the guys are good men and some are there to have fun. I am not familiar with the workings of other sites but on LL you could have a profile in three different categories - looking for friends, long term relationship or intimate not committal relationships (sex). When someone would contact me in the long term relationship category, I would take their info and do a search in the intimate category. It was amazing what I would learn at times!

Keep your eyes wide open, play it safer than safe - and listen to any gut reaction. I have heard of success stories - so I hope it works out for you!

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Permalink Reply by Jen B on October 19, 2008 at 11:36pm

I have met amazing people (soulmates, truly) through match.com. I dated, loved, and laughed much from that site. I like Internet dating because you can keep someone at bay for a long time via email while you are getting to know them. Go for it and let us know how it goes!

(I am also wondering how and when to spring the news that I have one boob, not two, on a potential beau, lol)

Love you! Jen B.

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Permalink Reply by Jenny M on October 20, 2008 at 12:31pm

I did internet net dating, it was a lot of fun, but I second the be careful part. I always met my dates in very public places.
Some were a bit on the horror dating side, but they have become fun stories, some were nice, I just didn't click, and some became friends. I met my hubby the good old fashioned way though (at my nieghborhood pub) :)

However, one of the guys I met through internet dating came to my wedding :)

It is fun, and you don't have all this pressure on you if it dosn't work, you just move on to the next canididate.....

Have fun, but be careful

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Permalink Reply by Anastasia on October 20, 2008 at 2:24pm

I concur with above. I know many who have met their spouses through this but it has it's own pitfalls just like anything else. As far as telling potential serious partners about what you have been and are dealing with.....that is individual, but to be fair....the earlier on the better I think. This avoids either one of you from being too invested and then getting or causing a lot of hurt. You never know what a deal breaker is going to be for someone and even if they have come to really care for you...some people are just not strong enough to handle some things. Better to know that up front if possible.
Good Luck,
Stasia

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Permalink Reply by Jen B on October 20, 2008 at 2:39pm

Okay, I just had to add a few more thoughts.

First of all, be picky. Very picky. Get to know somebody at length via email. If they want to rush right out on a date, they are not for you (trust me on this one). Like everybody has said, meet somewhere public. Don't give out your last name or details about your family members. DO get their last name, place of work, and b-date. Google, yahoo, Facebook, MySpace, and Linked-in them high and low. If you know a police officer, have them run a check for you.

When I moved to Denver in 2001, I started several relationships there via Match.com months before I arrived. The first weekend I was there I had five dates. It was great fun. One, a goofball attorney who made me laugh, became serious and lasted over a year.

I met two other serious boyfriends this way. One on AOL (he is still a dear soulmate to this day) and another at a local site. I dated both for 18 months and still love them dearly. I also dated a Denver cop, a successful new age writer, a softball coach 15 years my junior, and several other interesting people via the Internet. Don't rule out long distance relationships - those are fun!

I always tell people that a big part of my success is that I am just looking for fun characters, not serious/marriage. I have definitely found them on the Internet. I think if a person is looking too hard to settle down, then that is scary to potential boyfriends. I am not a committment type so I have managed to reel in some interesting people along the way.

Have fun!

Love, Jen B.

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Permalink Reply by Sharon632 on October 20, 2008 at 4:22pm

I don't know if I ever want to get married again. I like my independence but think it is time to start dating again. I will have to take things very slowly. I am excited about trying this. I am signed up and have matches from an airline pilot, a Dr. several teachers and other fields.

I'll let you know how it goes.

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Permalink Reply by Jen B on October 20, 2008 at 5:32pm

I can't wait to hear. Keep us posted!

Love, Jen B.

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