CanSer Faux Pas!

oh! gotcha, thanks...

Uh, indolent somewhere in your life? WTF does that even mean????
ignore the stupid
cherish the brave, wise folks that walk the path you walk, every day, holding your hand and drying your tears!
deb

whats that? did you say something<: not that I'm ignoring you.. heeheehee

Just 15 days after my diagnosis I was telling an acquaintance at Mass about it, and what I was facing with surgery/recovery... she literally said to me, "I'm not worried about it, why are you?" Yes, that's a direct quote from October 14, 2006. (Gotta love Livejournal...LOL)

I've never gotten over her saying that.

Hey a
It's easy to "not worry" when it's not your body that's being fucked with! sounds like she has a compassion deficiency, but not to worry, just like the story of the mustard seed, everyone's house is visited by some sort of suffering.
Perhaps one day you can comfort her when she gets some bad news ... then she may understand.

Worry is useless, take it from a life long worrywart!
love you deb

You know the damndest thing about it all Deb? She works in a fucking doctors office!! Makes you want to go to that doctor, right?

hey does she work in MY dr's office? Or her scary robotic twin sister????
My onc assistant has no heart I am sure of it.. or at least she hides it when she is at work...
love you
deb

As I am 31 and given the strongest/longest dose of chemo they can give they told me it very well could push me into pre-menopause. No real discussion over whether or not I would like to have more kids. I have one little girl. I really love it when people just assume it doesn't matter all that much that you may never be able to have a bigger family and say" well, at least you have one". Like the whole purpose of being a woman is being stolen and I shouldn''t care. I wasn't given any info on fertility or time to really adjust to it. Don't ya think a super fab cancer center would at least send in the councelors before throwing into the poison induced stuper...

Della, I get this too. I have breast cancer and I'm shocked to say that many non-c women respond with this type of rant, "Are ya gonna just chop them off that's what I would do can you imagine no more bra no more flopping boobs not more soreness during your period they are falling anyway how would it be to just have the dumb things off boy would swinging a golf club be so much easier and you would actually lose weight and no more worries about how they are growing closer to the floor every year my mom did and now she saves money every year on bras and bla bla bla."

These "supportive" women are talking about chopping of some of my most feminine body parts and throwing them away like they are as expendable as a bad piece of banana! It is so weird.

Another peeve: I hate it when you tell someone that you have canser and they instantly make it all about them to the point where you have to console them (sometimes many times). I just don't say anything anymore unless I really need to use the c-card for some reason. The worst reaction ever (from a relative who I have not seen in 25 years and has emailed maybe 5 times total) said, "I'm completely devastated!" I responded, "Why? I'm not. And you're not the one with canser anyway so buck up." Ridiculous.

If my "supporters" could get their way this is how it would be:

Jen's breasts: R.I.P 1961 - 2008

It was nice knowing you, girls. Sniff.

Thanks for the safe place to rant - Love, Jen

Jen,

It's ironic that you say this-- I think many of us DO take for granted that we would know how we'd feel "if it ever happened to us," but I believe the misconception is due to one, women do NOT know how they would feel, and two, many of us like to believe that we would feel relieved if it wasn't our lives at risk but that that part could be "cut out." Even though this IS a misconception, I think it makes people feel better to believe this. And you're absolutely right, there are people who don't know any other way than to make it about themselves.

I was at the Relay for Life yesterday and I saw a couple of women making luminaria for friends or loved ones, and they were clearly writing messages to women who were breast cancer survivors.. and they were writing things like "chop 'em off" or something- I can't remember exactly- and I really WANTED to say something but figured it wasn't so much my business.. they didn't mean it maliciously, that was clear- they just didn't know better. I'm sorry about your breasts. RIP girls :-)

Christine