We're sorry, but this discussion has just been closed to further replies.
You may have realised I've been a bit quiet for a while. I've stopped crowing about my super-smoothies and my ventures towards solid food, simply because it ain't happening. After two doses of radiotherapy, neither of which appear to have done much except maybe stop the bleeding from my main oesophageal cancer (my back is no better at all), I have observed the relentless weight loss (over 52 lbs so far) and it took a bio-scientist friend of mine to say "You'd better get back on those Ensures or you won't be here for long! You need the carbohydrates they offer and you need them now!"
So today I reluctantly went on to Ensures again in the hope that it might give me a brief respite from becoming a living skeleton. What really brought it home were the family photos after my son's wedding on Tuesday (see them at Adam and Mandy's Wedding at http://www.flickr.com/gp/16735390@N00/054kh9 and I'm sure you'll agree!) Watching my family and friends watching me was an education! I think it's time for me to concentrate on building up a bit as the "good food" is not helping at all.
Any further advice welcome.
Another problem is that the nature of these sickly drinks is that they come straight back up if I drink the slightest amount of fruity stuff, because they curdle into lumps which won't go down because the aperture to my stomach is now so tiny. I crave ice cold fruity things but can't have them without real discomfort.
I will see my oncologist next Thursday and she will offer me chemo but knows I'll say "NO". She may offer me a stent to allow food down but the dangers here are making the cancer bleed again and metastasize further, as well as possible rejection.
My spiritual side is being well looked after with meditation, reiki and an excellent grop of positive buddies, so do not fear for my state of mind. But, when the body is so relentlessly attacked, it's hard to see that in a positive way without deluding oneself.
Working is tougher now but I'm still doing it as we have to pay the mortgage. After that, who knows?
Love to all from a not-quite-so-chirpy TonyO
xxx
I'd just like to add that the response from so many good friends has really helped me to feel strong and resolute!!! I am so full of gratitude and love for you all...
If I have the stent I should be able to get anything down that will pass through it when I swallow. That should make a difference - but I haven't been offered anything yet. Watch this space after Thursday!
Coming up through the nose is quite commonplace with me. It'll be my ears next, I expect.
Hi Tony! You are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. When you mentioned that your mouth is dry, I wondered if you could make ice cubes from some of the juices, and even ensure if you need the calories? Maybe they could melt in your mouth, keep your mouth hydrated and provide you some nutrition at a much slower pace. Just a thought! Keep up your positive spirits. You're an inspiration! Pam
Ensure ice lollies! That's brilliant - why didn't I think of that? The slow pace makes a lot of sense...
My spirit will always be positive, Pam. It's the body that sends me the negative vibes, and lets me down. But, as you know, I'm working at it, and everyone is being so kind and helpful, particular my CSL buddies!
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I have a few thoughts that may or may not be of some help.
First, as you have stated, you have aggressive metastatic disease. When cancer becomes malignant like that, its preferential means of metabolism is anaerobic, it processes fuel (glucose) via fermentation. This is an inefficient energy production system, so it always needs more fuel. Which is why it is breaking down your tissues for fuel - making you cachectic.
You need calories. 100% agreed. However, because of the above, I would suggest this is the very time you choose the type of calories you put in your body carefully. Simple carbohydrates, like the sugars found in Ensure, is throwing gas on the fire. It is giving the cancer glucose in a quick, readily accessible form - it loves that. More complex carbohydrates, which cause a more gradual increase in insulin, would be a better choice.
I would encourage you to keep drinking green juices, avoid fruit. I would suggest green smoothies - blend avocado, cucumber, spinach, kale, celery - whatever greens you like, add hemp protein powder for added calories and nutrition. Coconut water (not the milk) - fresh, NOT packaged, would be great hydration and an immune system boost. Sprouted grains will give you lots of protein. Cooked grains like quinoa would be fabulous. As would flax and hemp. Nuts and nut butters are loaded with good fats and quality calories.
If swallowing is a problem, I would suggest making your own drink instead of an Ensure - blend almonds in filtered water to make your own almond milk, then blend in some hemp protein powder for added calories, even blend in a bit of nut butter for some added thickness, a bit of cinnamon for taste, and voila.
If you can't take in quantity at one time, try to be sipping frequently on something throughout the day - a nutritional green smoothie ideally.
If you still feel you need the Ensure, I would strongly encourage you to also continue your green juices and smoothies - more green, less fruit and sugar. Incorporate both.
I did get to be very adept at making highly calorific smoothies containing almonds, some fruit, quinoa, hempseed, sesame seeds, avocado, bananas, with maybe a little honey, coconut oil and tofu. For a while I could keep these down but then I guess the tumour grew and I was still losing weight every day. Trouble was, there were practically no carbs in the diet. I was also juicing some green veg and wheatgrass etc, but all of this has become increasingly less palatable as my ability to swallow anything at all is diminishing constantly. I have no desire to return to Ensures (I hate them), but right now they are all I can keep down and maybe get my weight to stabilize.
Sipping frequently through the day - that's all I can do and have done for the last six months - no other options, I'm afraid. Combine that with upchucking water all night long (yes, last night I couldn't even keep plain water down!) and it does wear you down a bit.
Many thanks for all your thoughts - I'll do as best as I can...
I hear you, Tony, you are in a tough spot. Obviously, you need nutrition, so that is the priority. But I am going to keep making suggestions here until you tell me to buzz off... :)
I would consider changing your smoothie recipe such that a) we thin it out, consistency and simplicity-wise and b) we take out some of the sugar ie. NO honey or fruit.
If you are up for another try, let's keep it simple and perhaps try the following:
unsweetened almond milk (almonds and filtered water, blend then strain pulp with nut milk bag)
hemp seeds or hemp protien powder
little coconut oil
cinnamon is great digestive aid, so if you like that, add a pinch for flavor
You may need a G or J-tube - tubes they place externally either into stomach or intestines for nutrition. If that comes to pass because of the esophageal issues, then you can advocate for what you put through the tube into your body.
I am holding you in my prayers, Tony. Lots of love and light.
Hugs,
b
Hey all
I was thinking of Tony, how about aloe watered down? It is so healing and very slippery.
Maybe aloe gel blended with water so it is easy to swallow.
I also was thinking of the wheatgrass powder I use, it dissolves in water.. just trying to get you more nutrients in the water form.
prayers always
deb
As it happens I have just received a consignment of Aloe Vera Juice from Tanzania, the very first (so I'm told) Aloe Vera plantation in the world, and so established that research says it's the purest and also most concentrated. I will try to take a tablespoon of this with water and see how I get on... ...they have asked me to design their new packaging regime, so it's quite a coincidence. It's 99.7% pure - at least they're honest!!!
I won't tell you to buzz off - all suggestions are welcome. I'm giving the Ensures one week to see if they won't at least stabilise my weight. Then, if I can swallow the kind of thinner smoothie you are recommending, I'll gradually replace some of the Ensures, then more...
But I cannot make my body do what it can't do - swallow good things just because I tell it to!
Many thanks for your prayers, love and light. Makes me feel very special...
On Sunday, 11/23, Kris Carr and other special guests will be speaking at the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary's ThanksLiving Banquet.
Click Here for details...Hope to see you there!
*********************************** The New Book is here!
22 minutes ago 
31 minutes ago 
1 hour ago 
Glamma karen replied to the discussion Do These Chemo Meds Sound Familiar & What Can I Expect? 1 hour ago 
