to chemo or not to chemo?.....please share your experience!

if you have any feedback....

my mom has been hesitant on getting chemo
she is basically scared of the horror stories. she hasn't even went through the chemo yet. patrick swayze, kylie minogue, friends we know all did chemo. i read more people doing it then not...we just met a friend of my moms at walmart and HE had chemo and fine
but he had heart probs before and after that but my mom thinks its cause of the chemo!

and then you hear horror stories of those that DID do chemo
and messed them up more. so what do you do???
then theres my dad who had a coworker who's wife had chemo who passed away. he prob tells him everyday not to get it and prob convinced him to think that there is cures for cancer but the government makes money off cancer, but you can't think that way. then you're just playing the blame game. you just make your immune and body and mind as good as possible but if its late its late......even though people DIE of chemo, its not really the chemo in the first place right? it was the cancer...and they just happen to be on chemo. she thinks dying of no chemo, there will be no pain.

i have yet ANOTHER friend who's dad just passed away and she had no regrets he did chemo. his ca 125 went from 14,000 to 4,000 and she thinks it gave him a couple more months at least for closure for them.

but what if she is right, that its her life and she wants high quality of life but then again, she hasn't even tried the chemo yet?????

so now i don't know anymore
please share your experiences

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by buddhababy on April 15, 2008 at 6:45pm: I for one would never choose chemo or surgery for any type of cancer. I've never seen it work (it does not address the root issue) unless it was a blood cancer in which I do know people who went into remission (younger people). What I have seen is chemo killing people, people getting cancers later down the road (makes sense as cancer is not a localized disease) and I know too many people who healed themselves including myself.

My grandmother refused treatment many years ago- stayed on Gerson's program and lived a long and happy life. She did not die of cancer.She had lymphoma.

A man I know used radionics to heal himself of multiple brain, lung and liver tumors. He's fine today years later.

Our current medical system knows nothing about cancer IMHO- research chemo, really research the statistics and realize that chemo kills not just cancer cells. There are always other ways.

My father and two uncles died in the very ward of MSK hospital they donated. CHemo killed all 3 of them in a very short time. My mother and my aunts (all more conventional) said they would never have chemo under any circumstances.The doctors admitted (yes they actually admitted) the chemo killed them!!!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by carolyn on April 15, 2008 at 11:09pm: ian
can you clarify for people the PH thing? is saliva a sufficient measure? i've read in many places that end stage cancer patients have incredibly acid PHs. i bought a little roll of PH paper and tested A's saliva vs my own. ot of a range of 5.5 (acid) to 8.0 (alkaline), his was 5.5 and mine was 7.2
after a month of retooling my diet somewhat, having a wheat grass shot every morning and one fresh vegetable juice a day, my PH hit 8.0. i am trying hard to get his PH up there but its really hard considering where he is; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Tony Ososki on April 18, 2008 at 8:57am: Ian, I found the Dr Bernardo video compelling and interesting. Convincing? Well, almost, but it's still 2nd hand anecdotal stuff and so I'd (naturally) llike to know more.

I must say the therapy seems to make sense. If you have his email or website address I'd be most grateful.

...And, apart from the colour paper test, how do you find out your actual PH level, that is to say, in figure rather than colours?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Baldylocks on April 15, 2008 at 7:35pm: I had the highest dose chemo possible for my bone marrow transplant and I came out of it fine. I have other issues but they are not chemo or cancer related. I would have died within a few days if I hadn't had the chemotherapy.

I'm looking forward to one long happy life.

It sounds to me like you are really scared for your mother. Maybe you should find someone at a counselling agency to talk to about it, it may help during this stressful time. It sounds like your mother is very lucky to have you by her side.

My best wishes for you and your family.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Whole_Body_Healer on April 15, 2008 at 9:55pm: As you can see, you will get opinions of people's experiences both pro & con for chemo. I think there are 2 pieces here, your Mom & you/family. I believe the decision to do chemo or not is entirely your mom's & for her to get to a place of choosing whatever is right for her & doing it.

Have you asked what she needs to make a decision? Is it more info? Is there a way you can help support her getting what she may need? Maybe it's as simple as having some time & space to go inward & then receiving support for whatever she decides from her family? From your description it's not clear if she's oscillating in & out of fear, is being buffetted by the opinions of others, or needing something to solidify her choice.

The experience of chemo is NOT the same for every cancer, nor the same for every person. Different chemo drugs have different side effects and each individual is unique with varying health issues, co-morbidities, & varying constitutions. It's not possible to judge what your expereince with chemo may or may not be like by hearing about your friend's Dad for instance, unless it's the SAME cancer & the SAME chemo, & even so there's the variability of you in that picture.

There's the experience of chemo and there's what it might do for you as a treatment, or what something else might do. So the experience of chemo, which can range from not too bad to really crappy, needs to be separated from WHY you choose to do it or not do it...I think separating these & looking at them both helps...otherwise the 2 can get tangled up together.

And then of course you, as much as you may feel strongly one way or another-I believe it's best if you can let go & support whatever choice is made. You may find additional info that may be relevant & share it if she's open to it.

Choosing to do chemo or not can entail some of these factors: Do I believe in my heart of heart's in this choice? Is there a time critical issue here of staying alive? Do I feel like I can do this? Do I have the support to do the treatment & from relevant practitioners? What are the survival odds for MY cancer if I do traditional treatment? if I do something else? Is it likely to be effective? How much time might this buy me? Is quality of life more or less important than quantity of time? How is my cancer staged & do I feel I can choose doing something alternative or integrative vs. doing traditional? And regardless of which direction is chosen, am I willing to make some lifestyle changes in order to live? Do I want to live...really, really, live, whatever it takes?

This whole process is filled with uncertainty...there's no guarantees, even with chemo...this is part of the journey at this point since there is still so much we don't understand about cancer. This community is probably one of the best places to find out about possibilities of doing either alternative or integrative type of approaches, and connecting those experiences with your mom's type of cancer....and then choosing, believing, and doing....and of course always reassessing as necessary.

I wish you & your family the best of luck in this process & the best possible outcome for your mom. Good luck.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Mariely Reyes on April 15, 2008 at 10:18pm: I could not have said it better myself...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by carolyn on April 16, 2008 at 12:11am: this brings up another point. have you ever heard of kinesthesiology? for a time i was a patient at an integrative doctor. another patient was having a recurrance of cancer and she was torn between treatment options. the kinesthesiologist did something (i can't tell you what, even though i was watching) and sensed that the woman, in her body, wanted or rather needed both chemo and radiation
i will also say that all the cancer patients who went there when i was a patient said that the vitamin infusions helped them to deal with the effects of radiation and chemo; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sherry on April 15, 2008 at 11:34pm: Yes Mariely, WBH has that knack for getting the words so right when many of us can barely think straight!! (glad you are oneofmypeeps!!) There is alot entailed and every single case is different. Personally, I was diagnosed Stage IV with an aggressive Lymphoma (Mantle Cell) and without chemo, I would not have had the opportunity to add alternative/holistic methods to my arsenal...I would not be here writing to you now. As a 44 year old mom with two kids, the decision was easy for me. Anything to extend my life (even the very toxic and dangerous chemo) at that point was well worth the risk. You can talk to a thousand people and get a thousand different stories - none of it is easy, it really sucks. I'm sorry, I wish these weren't the choices you and your mom have to make right now. Whatever she decides, a positive attitude is a requirement throughout...believe in the decision and focus on the outcome. I wish you all the best - please let us know so we can continue to lend support.

Sherry; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Mikey on April 16, 2008 at 1:13am: Sherry, I had a very similar experience. When I was diagnosed with Burkitts Lymphoma (leukemia) last year, I had to start chemo immediately, like within 2 days of being diagnosed, because my particular cancer grows very rapidly. Once I started the chemo, I went into remission after only about a week or two, but without it, I definitely would not be around today to live my new and improved crazy sexy lifestyle. I believe you can have the best of both worlds. Chemo got me into remission, now the rest is up to me, by following a diet of greens and whole foods daily, and most importantly, keeping a POSITIVE attitude. Like many have said previously though, everyone's experiene with cancer is different. What was beneficial in my circumstances may not be the preferred path of others.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by carolyn on April 15, 2008 at 11:28pm: another consideration would be your mother's age. if a person is very elderly it might not make sense to hit them with something that could be debilitating.
you mention your friend who had no regrets that her late father had chemo. the problem is, you can't ask her father how he felt about it
my dad's friend, a lovely 88 year old man, has just had 4 doses of rituxin for a stomach cancer. he's an old farmer and talks about trying the mold on his homegrown squash as a possible folk remedy (where is hoxley when you need him?). but his kids are very pro-medical and really pushed him into taking the chemo. they want to feel that they did everything possible for their dad
the problem is, they aren't listening to him. i am! he calls me up and tells me that he doesn't want anymore tests or anymore doctors, that he's not bouncing back, that he feels worse than before but he just can't buck the pressure put on him by his loving family; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Doreen on April 16, 2008 at 11:13am: Tell me more about this dandelion story! I get a kick out of folk remedies and the wisdom of our elders. I met this man at my cancer center (who did not have cancer) who was a strapping, strong 85, and without my asking, proceeded to tell me about how he stayed healthy. He drank apple cider vinegar everyday, included sauerkraut (naturally fermented -- enzymes) with every meal, ate what grew in his garden, and didn;t touch modern foods. His breakfast every morning was the same -- oats soaked overnight, flax meal, and grated apples. No fancy supplements, no fancy equipment, and he was pharmaceutical free!
And as for chemo, I have had chemo 6 different times. What cancer is left now is very resistant, and the future for me (according to my doctors) is that I will never be off chemo. But it is a horrible way to live, and it is not acceptable to me. I feel like Carolyn's 88 year old friend, and I don't care what anyone thinks, I have done everything that modern medicine has to offer, and it hasn't worked. I feel I have exhausted that route completely. I am praying for clarity and peace, and no fear. It does not, however, mean that I have given up!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by carolyn on April 16, 2008 at 12:20am: i have two other friends who had cancer years ago, one in 1992 had bladder cancer and only had surgery. they gave her a month to live but the surgery was successful. she refused chemo and radiation. she was a ballet dancer so cigarettes were one of her main food groups. she quit smoking and drinks Essiac tea which she buys from a small independent tea maker in south carolina
my other friend had cervical cancer in 1995. she also had only surgery even though she was pressured by her doctors to have radiation and chemo. they told her she was risking her life
both are WAY beyond the 5 yr mark
i don't know if your mom's cancer is a type that can be excised with surgery alone
doctors like to be overly cautious and back up surgery with the "works" but depending on her age, it might be wiser for her to take her chances; ▶ Reply to This