Town Rules...cont??

I'm so happy to be a part of this forum. It's amazing. Today, however, I hit my first bump in the road. I made a comment (with my scientific, research mind), then to realize awhile later, that I may have offended someone (I didn't...lucky me!). As the town rules were posted today as well, I got to thinking, have any of you also made a response, only to think hours later...was I too forward?
How do we be supportive, and encouraging for each other, while also being honest about the topics we are discussing? How do we decide what makes an exchange pleasant, and what not? Is it possible to keep our manners in tact while talking about such passionate isues? Where do we draw the line between having honest questions and then just being plain negative...and does intent matter?
Most of all, as relationships are messy in life, writing seems almost harder, as there can often be so many different intepretations to a sentence.
Anyway, just brought this up hoping someone else might be struggling with the same issues.

Replies are closed for this discussion.

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Rachel V. on April 23, 2008 at 6:49pm: For me, I have found it somewhat difficult to "be nice" and keep your mannors online for various reasons.

Permalink Reply by Blue on April 23, 2008 at 7:15pm: Yes, I have found that with email especially. It's like your brain works differently when you are not looking someone in the face, you are so focused on the words, constructing the sentences, you hit "send" and remember you're still talking to a real person.

Permalink Reply by anne on April 23, 2008 at 7:23pm: Ha, I'm convinced the rules were written for me! I wrote a big ole rant last week, not a word of positivity in it, and I probably broke three-quarters of the town rules when I hit "send" and quite possibly motivated the CSL powers-that-be to decide it was time for some rules around here! (Luckily, everybody was really nice to me and seemed to take it in the spirit it was intended, but it could've been really ugly if people had been less understanding.)

All in all, I think it's a good exercise in manners, composing gentle-toned e-mails and posts while giving all possible readers the benefit of the doubt. People in general need to be kinder to each other and less judgmental--think about other drivers and people who yell at clerks--and forums like this make for good practice at remembering that other people, no matter who they are or what their challenges are, have feelings, too.

Permalink Reply by Teresa on April 23, 2008 at 9:36pm: Anne, I loved the thread you started. You were venting--that's all---maybe having a bad day---but that's part of what this forum is for! You just came out and said what a lot of people are having trouble with. A lot of good came out of that post, and we know you don't really hate Rodney Yee. Your post made me laugh--in a good way!
Teresa

Permalink Reply by Rhonda on April 23, 2008 at 9:43pm: Girl....
You are honest and willing to listen. Those are important valued attributes. Your honesty and 'cry in the wilderness' got a lot of people talking and opening up about the struggle of living 80/20, raw... whatever.

I don't think the town rules/suggestions are directed at you, but they are for all of us. It's important to have some structure to a conversation so that people can feel safe to speak honestly.

If you were trying to sell some t-shirts that were anti Rodney Yee or something... then yeah, maybe it was you (JUST KIDDING). We know you love the yoga dude.

Breathe deep and know it's good to be honest and vent. Just like we tell our kids... speak from the heart.

Lots of love and acceptance to ya,
R

Permalink Reply by Whole_Body_Healer on April 23, 2008 at 9:54pm: Anne I thought you listened to what folks had to say & opened a "hot" topic on lots of folks minds, AND you came full circle & showed how you took action after your frustrations. And other than maybe Rodney (momentarily ;)) what you expressed was self-contained frustration & not projected upon anyone. I thought you were being real. What you opened up I think contributed to the group.

Permalink Reply by girlandcoconut (formerly known as lolabloom!) on April 23, 2008 at 10:17pm: I agree whole heartedly Anne, I think that post was fantastic and I learned a lot!

Permalink Reply by Adventure Grrl on April 23, 2008 at 9:29pm: Dear Anne,
It was not you, girl. I think you brought up an awesome topic and a frustration a lot of people were feeling. Opening that discssion helped a lot of people because people offered problem solving ideas to the issue. I think the town rules are for 1% of the population - maybe even 1/4 of that 1%.

To answer this post, I have been on this site and the blog that started this site since it's inception, honest debate, having an opinion, being passionate - all good, good, good.

I found someone that recently was asked to leave this iste to be compative and often times rude to people in discussions... also, I love reading people's blogs or if you're debuting a film or project cool - if you're plugging your website in every post, then I think you have an agenda and NOT so good. I didn't complain but I can see why people might.

We want to feel safe here.

Permalink Reply by Rhonda on April 23, 2008 at 9:44pm: Amen sister.

Permalink Reply by Sweetfightgirl on April 23, 2008 at 9:52pm: I agree too, I think it had nothing to you but some emails and posts as of late were very one-sided no matter what the intentions we have to remember that someone in the 1000+ might need to use western, eastern or even coloring for therapy and we can't judge only offer our experience is a good way to do it, I think? Pushing one doc one everyone or one type of medicine instead of a variety can be harmful to us all...I think posting your outside blog is fine since we can't repeat our stories here over and over and for some of us there would never be enough room to tell it. :-) I like the rules and think it will only encourage the positive sharing of information and support of each other, reminding us to think first, kinda like would you say that to your mom or best friend. The balance on this site was what originally brought me here since so many support forums can get negative. Cheers to a great group of friends and neighbors in our cyber-life!

Permalink Reply by Mia on April 23, 2008 at 10:49pm: Okay, this has nothing to do with this forum, but I want to share something funny since we are speaking of manners. The other day my girlfriend drove me to the store (my eyesight isn't great right now) and we came to some road construction where several cars were trying to merge. Everyone was being polite, so when it came to our turn to merge into the one lane traffic the lady next to us honked her horn several times and gave us the finger. She then moved in front of us (it wasn't her turn) and she gave us the finger. When she got right in front of us we saw that her license plate read " God4gvs" Is that hilarious or what?

Anyway, good debate is always awesome and with everything we are dealing with, we can't expect everyone to be all "up with people" all of the time. We've got to share our ups and downs so that we can support each other. Just don't try to sell me any Noni Juice and I won't care what you say!!!!

Permalink Reply by Daryl on April 24, 2008 at 5:37pm: Oh my, that's hysterical about the horrible woman with the holy license plate. What else can you do but laugh??
Daryl