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Crazy Sexy Cowgirl is Happy and Healthy and living in the Now!

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About Me:: I am 38. I am a wife and mother of two daughters. I am also a physician. I was diagnosed with stage I breast cancer in June 2008(T1aN0M0; ER/PR neg; her2 neu pos).
I have yet to be angry about my diagnosis. As soon as received the news, it made perfect sense. This was the journey I was to begin and this was the time.

It has been an amazing journey so far. I have been awakened. I am conscious. I am filled with a sense of joy and peace.

I had surgery and did choose to undergo chemotherapy. However, I am also embracing the wonderful world of holistic and spiritual healing. It is this facet of my care that I believe is making the biggest difference on my fantastic recovery and survival. Another perk is the positive difference this holistic and spiritual enlightenment has had on my family, especially my sweet-spirited daughters and my husband.

Where do you live? (city, state, country): Mt. Dora, FL USA

Relationship Status:: Married

Favorite Quote:: It is what it is.

Favorite Book:: The Kite Runner; Anatomy of the Spirit; The Power of Now; The Glass Castle; many, many others

What's your personal mission statement?: Live life in joy and peace.

Last chemo tomorrow!!!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

My last chemo is tomorrow but my healing continues. I have found so much inner strength and peace through yoga and meditation. It continues to be an amazing journey. I am glad to be canser free......

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At 6:09pm on December 2, 2008, sheila said…: Hi Halla,
How are you feeling?
I am sure you had a great Thanksgiving -- we have so much to be thankful for.
Lunch on the 16th works great. Just pick a time.
We flew back yesterday, and I need to hit the books until next Wednesday. I asked my orgo prof. for a recommendation -- and gave him my "personal statement" -- Our conversation went great.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for our time with my father-in-law. It was sweet and sad at the same time.
I have my 3 month check up on Thursday with my oncologist.
Well, gotta go watch my oldest play a high school basketball game -- it gives me great delight to be able to watch him play.
Take care,
Sheila

At 9:10am on November 24, 2008, sheila said…: Hi Halla,
You are DONE!! Yeah!!! Congrats. I am so glad you and your husband had a chance to celebrate and relax at the Ritz. That type of pampering sounds perfect!
I will be studying for finals until Dec. 10. (Except, I love the studying, so no gagging here!) So how about lunch after Dec 10? What's a good date for you?
This afternoon I plan to ask my orgo prof. to write me a recommendation for medical school -- a big step for me -- so I've been working on my "personal statement" all weekend. Seems surreal, but so right at the same time.
We are all heading to Phila for Thanksgiving --where my sweet father-in-law is dying of cancer. It will be good to be all together.
You have a blessed Thanksgiving with your favorite people!
Sheila

At 9:01pm on November 21, 2008, Daria said…: Hi Halla!
I haven't seen you on here in awhile, just wanted to check in and see how you doing. I also wanted to ask you a question. All the docs seem to think that I need another surgery and this time they will have to break my sternum to get to the tumor. Be honest, how painful and dangerous is that? Is this a very complicated and risky procedure? If you have a surgeon in mind, who would you recommend? I'm freaking out! I heard the recovery is from 8 to 12 weeks and it could be up to a year. This is not an easy task with a four year old as you know! I'm sorry to always bombard you with this stuff, but I don't really have anywhere else to turn for answers.
I hope you're doing ok. Btw I will be in FL from Dec 29th until Jan 12th, maybe we can meet up. I'm so excited to get out of this cold. It's freezing here on the East Coast!
Ok sweetie, let me know when you can. Talk to you soon!

At 11:32am on November 20, 2008, Jennice said…: Hello Halla and congratulations on finishing chemo! Can you believe we are through it? I hope you are feeling as good as possible today! To answer your questions, I have felt better than I expected through this whole thing and my eyebrows have thinned some but are still there and eyelashes are still hanging on. My hair is growing back too, it still thins some but I have a dark shadow of hair on my head!

Regarding the tissue expanders, I have gotten used to them over the last few months. Sometimes they are uncomfortable but never unbearable. I know they are a necessary means to a great end! Now after chemo, I am counting down the days til my exchange!

Have a peaceful restful rest of the week and know that we are only going to start feeling better and better, like our old selves with a new sense of self!

Jennice

At 4:00pm on November 18, 2008, Jennice said…: Good to hear from you. I will do the happy dance for you tomorrow. It's a time of celebration for sure! So what's the first step of reconstruction for you? I have my exchange done on January 21st and am looking forward to that! I hope you are feeling well!!

You are in my thoughts. Have a restful night and dance your way into your last chemo tomorrow!!

Jennice

At 11:41am on November 18, 2008, sheila said…: Hi Halla. Your girls are too cute! Thinking of you this week as you either have your last round or don't. I really enjoyed lunch and am reading up a storm from your recommended list -- I ordered them all. I am soaking up "Kitchen Table Wisdom"and have already learned so much more about healing -- I am getting stronger every day. I must say I stopped about 1/2 way through the book about the 4 young bc women -- when I started reading about recurrence, I didn't like what was going on in my body/mind, so I decided not now on that one.
Maybe we can fit in another lunch in December at Cafe 118?
Sunday night I went to the FL Hopsital Gala -- and I certainly did not look or feel like a patient. It felt great! It won;t be long before your energy soars!
Have a great day.
Sheila

At 6:49pm on November 16, 2008, Jennice said…: Hi Halla!

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you! I know Wed. is your last treatment and I am looking forward to my last tomorrow! I hope all is well with you! We are to the finish line!!!

Jennice

At 10:12pm on October 15, 2008, sheila said…: Hi Halla,
I sent you an email yesterday. Just wanted to make sure you got it. Heading to bed now.

Wishing you a peaceful night,
Sheila

At 4:21pm on October 9, 2008, Jennice said…: Hi Halla!

It's good to hear that yesterday went well for you and I hope you are feeling good today. The last three days have been ok for me, each passing day from treatment day gets a little bit better. I am not taking Nexium daily because the last couple of treatments the onc put Tagamet in my IV but she decreased it this last time and I have had some heartburn so I have broken down and taken Nexium today. I try to get through with the least meds as possible.

Well, my hair is growing back too and my eyebrows have thinned but are still there along with eyelashes. Hopefully we can hang on to them!!

I know what you mean about the port-a-cath. It's one of those necessary evils and I am glad I have it but I will be glad to get rid of when I can!

It's just so great to see a light at the end of this tunnel and knowing we only have 2 more treatments is quite uplifting! Thanksgiving is fast approaching!

Thinking of you,
Jennice

At 3:00am on October 9, 2008, Halla said…: Hi Sheila,
I was talking about Ethos. Is it good? The menu looked pretty good. My husband and I had just eaten lunch at Hue in Thornton Park or we would have tried it that day. I don't know about the Dandelion Community Cafe. I am game to try anything out. What part of Orlando is that in? Cafe 118 sounds great! When that opens, we will definitely have to check it out.

The medical conference sounds very interesting. That is a good/pre-chemo week for me. Is it open to the public? How would I go about registering? Do you know when UCF plans to enroll their first medical school class? Wouldn't that be neat for you to be in the first class there???

Regarding our discussion on the mind/body connection, I do feel strongly that there is connection between our mind, spirit and body. There is still so much we do not understand about so many diseases. Why do some patients with seemingly early stage cancer recur and die while some patients with advanced disease outlive their cancer? Any physician can tell you stories about patients who have caused them to pause and wonder about a seemingly miraculous outcome.

I believe that spiritual health plays an important role in the manifestation of physical illness. This goes beyond simply "staying positive" about treatment and prognosis. The first book I read which really made sense to me and opened my eyes to the connection between spirit and body (a connection which intuitively I had already sensed) was "Anatomy of the Spirit" by Caroline Myss. I highly recommend it to you. Also, I just finished ready "Kitchen Table Wisdom" by Naomi Remen, MD. This was absolutely fantastic and really explored the holistic approach to healing. If you read these books, I would suggest starting with Kitchen Table Wisdom and then Anatomy of the Spirit. Then, I would love to talk to you about them. I have so many books that I want to read, exploring this topic in more depth. I have a few written by Bernie Segal, another MD. I love to talk about this stuff. I think it is really fascinating and find it very empowering with regard to my spiritual journey which began with BC.

Anyhow, do you still have my personal email? If so, please send my an email so that we can communicate potential lunch dates.

Thanks again for forwarding me the brochure about the upcoming BC talk.
Have a great weekend.
Halla