My Crazy Sexy Life!

Paula

View Paula's…
Discussions (41) Photos (3)

About Paula

Paula

About Me:: I'm almost 50 years old and I live in New Jersey and work for a pharmaceutical company. I get to do a lot of international travel with my so it makes it a dreary job worthwhile. I too have a house in the Catskills! It’s an old Victorian beauty that I am in the process of restoring. It's my great escape! I'm an avid gardener and a lover of all things old. I'm also a versatile artist; I can do anything. My favorites include sewing and making clay pottery! I make my own ceramic tiles, pots, and free-form sculptures. I'm also a part-time college student pursuing a degree in "undeclared" for the time being.

Earlier this year I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. I, like most of us, did not see this coming. No history of cancer in the family, let alone breast cancer. It was a normal day...I was walking to my bedroom after my shower, naked from the waist up and holding my breasts in my hands for support, when I suddenly felt the sensation against my palm of having two nipples in my left breast. I was like, "what the hell is that!" I ran my fingers over the area and there it was...this hard-like-a-rock lump, right under my nipple. Two days later a mammogram and a week after that a second mammo and an ultrasound and a doctor who said, "you have a mass and it needs to be removed IMMEDIATELY!" Of course “immediately” meant almost two months later due to other complications which I won't get into here. I had the lumpectomy to remove it and I was lucky; I caught it in stage 1; the lymph node that was also removed in the operation showed no spreading. But the luck might just stop there. I have to see an oncologist on July 18th about radiation and chemo and that for me is the scary part. I've had Hep C for the past 30 years so whether or not my diseased liver can handle the next steps remains to be seen. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it!

Where do you live? (city, state, country): NJ U.S.A

Relationship Status:: Single

Favorite Quote:: Been there, done that, might do it again!

Favorite Book:: the one I'm writing!

What's your personal mission statement?: Live like there's no tomorrow

Paula's Groovy Groups

arimidex: (4 members)
Created by esther

Crazy Sexy Gardening!: (152 members)
Created by Sundari

Crazy Sexy New York Posse!: (121 members)
Created by Kris Carr

Artists: (85 members)
Created by Baldylocks

CRAZY SEXY BREAST CANCER!: (205 members)
Created by marla

Photos

Loading…

View Photos

The Life Lounge

TATTOOS!

Added a post Oct 1

I have a flower with a vine wrapping around it on my stomach. I got it on my 18th birthday as a sign of rebellion because I was finally legal...yes, in those days you could drink and do what every ... Read More »

Install Love! (really cute!)

Added a post Sep 30

Too cute! thanks! this will be my good night thoughts! going to sleep now... ciao! paula Read More »

Starting to lose my hair - want to talk about it.

Added a post Sep 27

Hey Bonphire! ~~~This is the next day...SO I have been thinking about how what I can do with my do...and I thought I could video tape it and act like I am really going crazy and tearing my hair out... Read More »

Tagged: hair

I dont remember anymore

Added a post Sep 27

Hi Caroline, great question! its funny, before the big C i thought i'd live forever...i still viewed my mortality the same way an 18 year old does...i've always been a carefree risk taker who beli... Read More »

Tagged: canser, sucks

Leslie from CSL boot camp 1... needs prayers

Added a post Sep 10

Hi Rhonda, I will keep your friend and her family in my weekly prayers. I hope God sends her a miracle! Ciao paula Read More »

Tagged: houston, prayers, leslie, primary, cancer

Emerging Victorious from the PET scan tube

Added a post Sep 10

Im so happy for you! and I hope there's many more to come! ciao paula Read More »

C... is for... Creator

Added a post Sep 7

c is for cash...and lots of it...to pay my medical bills c is for ceramics...which i love. Art heals! c is for catharsis...which we all go through...for the better. c is for clear CAT scans! yeah! ... Read More »

calling out for a prayer:)

Added a post Sep 7

Hey Watson! What a great friend you are! :) Luv, hugs and prayers for Robyn! (and you too!) Stage 4 is a scary diaganosis, but tell Robyn to jump right in here and learn from those who are fight... Read More »

I am new, alone and scared shitless!

Added a post Sep 7

Hi Betsy, Welcome...glad you found this place! And let me say its always great to log on and see this community reaching out to someone in need. (you guys are the best!) but back to you Betsy...... Read More »

RSS
View All

Latest Happenings

Paula replied to the discussion TATTOOS! Oct 1

Paula's Friends

Comment Wall (23 comments)

You need to be a member of My Crazy Sexy Life to add comments!

Join this network

At 10:03pm on September 15th, 2008, carolyn said…: paulawill you come to the yoga/ lunch in NYC?

At 3:58pm on August 30th, 2008, Liz R said…: Hi Paula! So glad you got the shrinkage joke! How are you doing? You used to be right up the road from me! Do you ever revisit your old stomping grounds? I think we should get a PA/NJ CSL group going. Peace, Liz

At 7:27pm on August 27th, 2008, Barb said…: Paula,
you sound just like my sister(she's the one in the hat here)
she flat out told her cancer doc who was in control of things....and she told him "I will not put that RAT poison into my body" and which point he added "well i hope you know there is not alot out there right now other then chemo and surgery..." Well she said I guess i will indeed be taking control of my wagon here..bye bye" She walked out the door!!!
She has now compleated one "clinical trial" and getting ready to try another on the 4th of SEPT. This is nothing even remotely close to CHEMO. She would rather live out her days then to put POISON into her body like that.
We watched our mom go down the CRAPPER with that damn chemo & she is not going down that road herself.
For that I command her & you for in this "journey" and "maze" of canSer one must 1st learn to be in COMPLEAT control of your care.
Angel hugs~
Barb(in oregon)

At 10:21pm on August 11th, 2008, carolyn said…: paula

checking on you

At 8:32pm on July 28th, 2008, carolyn said…: paula

just snooping. i completely agree with REO. if we can ever break the strangle hold that drig companies have over medicine, doctors will come around and fess up to how horrible and ineffective (not to mention cancer causing) these things really are

At 1:40am on July 21st, 2008, REO said…: Paula,

I do not have cancer.

But, if I ever would get any form of cancer, I would not use any form CHEMO or RADIATION -> NEVER!!!!!!!!!

I believe it is TOTALLY BARBARIC!!

This is just my opinion.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love & Huggs - Always!!! :)

Ron

At 1:02am on July 21st, 2008, Jen B said…: Hi Paula - What do you mean "forced" to go the Gerson way? Did they tell you that they wouldn't give you chemo because of your liver? What happened? Are you okay with this outcome?

xoxo Jen

At 7:13pm on July 20th, 2008, Lillet said…: Hey Paula,
I'm thinking positive thoughts for you - hope your onc doc gave you some reassuring news.
xoxox
Lillet

At 9:54am on July 18th, 2008, Leslie said…: Hi Paula,

First off, I am sending you healing vibes and a big "Bear Hug" well not to big while your healing.. Also the Best Of Luck today with your Oncologist... I can only imagine how very scary this is for you.... What I have found from a friend of mine who has EXACTLY what you have but she is going next week to see if it what stage she actually is...., Is that if you get a good, gut feeling about your Oncologist than, that says it all. This girlfriend is a Chiropractor and up until now has only believed in Western Methods....

I LOVE, LOVE LOVE your pictures and your beautiful Victorian Home... Have fun restoring it..... I admire alll of your Artistic talent and all that you do & continue to do on this Journey Called Life.... (smile).... I have family that live in the Catskills as Well.... Margretville, Roxbury, & Fleishmans....

Love & Light!!!!
Leslie

At 12:27am on July 18th, 2008, Jen B said…: Paula - I remembered that I wanted to talk with you after you posted a note to the "love note" thread tonight. I had noticed before that we seem to have a similar thing going at the same time! In reading your bio to the side, I see that you are scheduled for the onc tomorrow to discuss radition or chemo. Please let me know how that goes, I am all ears!

I hear you on the breast pain situation. My biopsy site still has a hemotoma and it still HURTS 6 weeks later. I am down for the pain though, b/c I need the thing out and to get on with life. We don't know if mine is invasive until they get it out and look at it. That is part of my delay - surgeon indecision about what to do with me. I keep saying, "It needs to come out regardless, right? Just take it out!" But nobody listens. I've even said told them to just to a mastectomy if that will help move this along! The only surgeon my insurance will cover is a young guy who is clearly scared and has told me outright that he is not confident and to find another surgeon. He said that to me again today! Gads, the drama just never seems to end. Luckily, I found out today that another surgeon in that group is covered by my insurance, but he is taking a 3 week vacation and I now have to wait until he gets back.

Anyway, if it is okay with you, I'll keep my eye on you as my person who is walking the path ahead of me. I would just love to hear how your visit goes tomorrow, please let me know! I am a fantastic cheerleader and have a good shoulder to lean on.

Thanks and love, Jen B.

View All Comments

Sign Up

or Sign In

Bulletin Board

On Sunday, 11/23, Kris Carr and other special guests will be speaking at the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary's ThanksLiving Banquet.
Click Here for details...Hope to see you there!
***********************************
The New Book is here!