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Carla

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About Carla

Carla: Female
United States

About Me:: After reading some other "about me" stories, I can say I am way-too-serious. So, ladies of Omega Boot Camp, help me "lighten-up" and heal the wounds!

Where do you live? (city, state, country): United States

Relationship Status:: Single

Favorite Quote:: "Whether I like it or not, I am on this planet and it far better to do something for humanity." ~ Dalai Lama

Favorite Book:: "Live, Love, Pray"

Your Website or Blog:: www.worldinterfaithclergy.org

What's your personal mission statement?: Through compassionate listening, I am building bridges between people.

Carla's Groovy Groups

Crazy Sexy Omega Boot Camp: (20 members)
Created by Sundari

The Life Lounge

NYC Posse... who's ready to gather again??

Added a post Jul 11

Aug 3 would be better for me, and a location on the border of NY and CT would be ideal! Is there a charge for this super-charged time with the CSL Posse? Oops, just noticed that the date was set fo... Read More »

Tagged: nyc, posse

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Carla's Friends

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At 3:24pm on July 17th, 2008, Carla said…: Bav,

I realized today just how low I am, just about ready to give up (but not quite). The associate minister at my church is encouraging me to get all my papers in order, just in case, and that makes me feel awful. Focusing on all you wonderful supportive and positive people makes me feel better. But I still have a lot of issues to deal with.

Yes, I have a wonderful support group. But my personal issues need to be dealt with and that needs professional help, which I am getting, finally! I know that will help me prioritize things and get what needs getting in order.

Thank you for your constant support. It is invaluable.
Love and hugs,
Carla

At 1:00pm on July 15th, 2008, bav said…: Carla,

How are you doing today?? It sounds like you have quite a group of people surrounding you with love and support - that is fabulous!!

Put on a favorite piece of music today and just let the notes wash over you, cleansing away anything that isn't serving you....

Big hugs,
b

At 10:57pm on July 14th, 2008, Carla said…: Dear bav, your heart is pure gold, cancer move over! The hugs help (virtual); the reminder (even as I feel like throwing up this moment) to forgive my body helps. The reminder to live in the NOW helps. Hell, just to know you are there to listen helps! (Did I really say that word?) It's already late tonight, but I will take a few minutes to see what flows out of my pen into my journal; I KNOW that will help.

The Care Committee from my church is gearing up to support my lack of cooking nights and days. People to cook for me; people to drive me to chemo appointments; people to come and play mancala or scrabble with me. If I look and remember to ask, I am so BLESSED with an abundance of people who care for me. I just not used to that feeling. I still need to be reminded. Thank you for helping me remember. (I got another virtual hug through the phone tonight; it was great!)

BTW, I just ordered chia seeds from my food co-op. I'll see what happens next week.
Love and (virtual) hugs,
Carla

At 9:41pm on July 14th, 2008, bav said…: Carla, my friend,

While it does not suffice, close your eyes, remember the warm hug we shared on sunday before we parted? I am sending you the same, 100 times over.

It is difficult, I am not going to sugar coat it. I understand the feeling of betrayal when you are told the disease is returning/spreading and your jaw drops with, "but I'm doing everything I am supposed to be doing." The mental pill has always been tougher for me to swallow than any medication.

I don't know if this will help, but I will share how I have decided to manage on a day-to-day basis...

It finally sunk in for me that while I was lamenting possibly not having some birthday in the distant future, that I was missing the present moment I DO have. That while I am worried about potentially losing my heart to cancer down the road, I am not using it now. I truly believe it is not how long I live, it is how I live with the time I have. No one knows how long we each have. As Kris likes to say, "life is a terminal condition, we are all going to die." So the challenge becomes, do you focus on that eventuality, not knowing when it will come - cancer or not - or do you focus on this very moment, today, which is all any of us truly have?

I know, it may sound like a lot of sugary semantics, but this is a lesson that is truly sinking in for me.
There is joy for you here and now, today. In your singing, in friends, nature, conversations with near strangers about poop, in shakin' it off and stompin' it down!!!

Forgive your body, Carla, forgive you. Journal about it, let out the anger, the frustration, the sadness - you are entitled.

And hopefully, at the end of the day - or 2 or 3 (max), you will feel a little better and be able to embrace your physical body with kindness, and gratitude for all it has/is done/doing for you. After all, it carried you to Omega, where I had the pleasure and privilege of meeting you.

It can so easily be overwhelming where you are sitting, and I don't know if I am helping or making it worse. But please know, and I speak for many when I say this, I am here for you. You are not alone. I want to be supportive, as I am sure the rest of this community would like to be. Let me know what you need, how I can help.

And above all, remember the hugs!
xo,
b

At 1:25pm on July 14th, 2008, Carla said…: Thanks, Beth,

I could use some positive feedback and a good laugh or two. I found two good recipes online for chia pudding (one with cacao, yippee!!).

Singing with my group, Soulfyre, always makes me feel better. We went to the beach on Saturday and sang in a beautiful garden filled with flowers, birds and rabbits. Jan brought her harp, and the sound was truly heavenly. For the time we sing my spirits are lifted, and I can forget about the cancer. Except my breath is short; I can't hold the long notes; I remember.

The news I received just before Boot Camp was that the tumors in my liver and lungs had increased. The bone scan last Friday indicated that the bone tumors had also increased during the three months we tried anti-hormone therapy. I don't know how to feel about this. I'm sad, angry, frustrated. But I also want to feel positive and believe I can beat this and live another 8-10 years (I originally had thought I would live to be 84).

This goes beyond a "down in the dumps" day. What is there to give me hope? While my stomach rebels from the oral chemo I'm taking I'm not about to "go green." I made a cucumber and romaine juice last week. It tasted great but upset my stomach more. I couldn't finish it, and the remainder sits in my 'fridge.

What could help? Perhaps some juice recipes designed to soothe an ailing stomach (so far Mylanta works). Some cheery words from my Boot Camp Buddies. A virtual, better yet real, hug.

I need to learn how to forgive. Any suggestions?
Love to you all,
Carla

At 12:06pm on July 14th, 2008, bav said…: Carla,

Whole leaf aloe juice
Chia seeds - soak and then make pudding, google for recipe - very easy to make
Stool softener AND motility agent
Hydrate
Warm water in morning with juice half lemon
Smooth Move Tea - herbal laxative
Stool to prop legs up when on toilet
Massage abdomen up right side, across, down left side
Massage low back

Great liver detoxifiers: dandelion tea and milk thistle, which may also help.

And NO, it wouldn't be bad to post how you really feel, that is exactly what this place is about - authenticity - which includes those blue, down in the dumps days.

Let us all know how to help. Perhaps we can put a smile on the gorgeous face of yours!

Big hugs,
b

At 5:04pm on July 11th, 2008, Carla said…: Cancer Boot Camp seems like a distant memory already. Everybody who posts here seems so upbeat and positive . . . but I don't feel that way right now. Would it be bad to post how I really feel?

At 4:22pm on July 11th, 2008, Janice Hicks said…: Hi Carla - I have not really reentered yet, as I am hanging around with friends in New York, some I haven't seen for a long time. It's wonderful to reconnect. Went to the beach yesterday and swimming in a lake today. Fabulous! I am headed home tomorrow, first stop - Baltimore to visit my mom (she is in assisted living) - then home to Virginia. A lot to process from the workshop. How are you doing with that? I think it's very cool that you went to seminary. What is the name again?
love, Janice

At 7:38pm on July 8th, 2008, Firefly said…: Hi Carla! So glad that you joined the forum! Hopefully we can get to know each other better via this site. I am still vibrating from the weekend! Wish it could have gone on longer. Stay in touch! janet

At 8:30pm on July 7th, 2008, Carla said…: Yikes! It works . . . we're all here, or almost all here. So Omega continues . . . if only someone else would make my salads; I get tired standing by the kitchen counter chopping all those good veggies. ;o))

Beth, I forgot all you told me standing there saying goodbye. So I need chia seeds and what else?

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